React or Respond

We all react. A text lands wrong, an email stings, a bill doesn’t add up, and before we’ve understood what happened we’re already doing something about it. This week Michael asks Brian about the space between what happens and what you do next.

They start with the body: the clenched jaw, the nervous stomach, the fight-or-flight wiring we all share. Michael talks about how being shot left his nervous system quicker to tip into reaction, and Brian tells the story of leaving a job without letting the reaction decide for him: pulling from savings, keeping a very small circle, and refusing to make a decision until it was processed.

Then the harder question: how do you tell the difference between giving yourself space to respond and kicking the can down the road? And what do you do after you’ve already reacted?

This week’s question: what am I really reacting to?

Tell us about a moment you reacted and wish you’d responded, on Instagram at @bhtcollective.

In this episode

• Responding isn’t simply waiting five minutes before you send that rage text
• “You might be a better person than I am”
• Money is triggering for almost everyone
• How do you pivot while you’re still living it?
• “What do I want right now?” vs “What am I trying to create here?”
• We can’t change personalities, we can change behavior
• There are very few doors you cannot walk back through

Chapters

• 00:00 Intro
• 00:32 Reacting vs responding
• 02:10 Before you send that rage text
• 03:00 How reactive are you?
• 03:38 “You might be a better person than I am”
• 04:20 When it feels like someone’s trying to screw you over
• 05:46 Fight or flight is built in
• 06:42 A nervous system on alert
• 07:23 The feeling is always in your body
• 08:05 What were you really reacting to?
• 10:06 Money is triggering
• 10:32 Space makes a big difference
• 11:26 Leaving a job without reacting
• 13:49 Taking space, or kicking the can down the road?
• 14:21 The inflection point
• 16:29 Pivoting while you’re still living it
• 17:44 Reactions are short-sighted
• 19:24 What am I trying to create here?
• 20:11 After you react
• 21:51 We can’t change personalities, we can change behavior
• 22:38 Very few doors you can’t walk back through
• 23:49 What am I really reacting to?
• 25:51 Thanks for listening